king of the tourists

So I am getting weird double feeling about my french.

So when I am out with my parents or my wife's parents and I am at tourist places people are so happy I speak french and in a couple of cases go out of there way to speak french to me.  Compared to tourists who can only say "Merci" and "Bonjour" I am a freaking king - King of the Tourists.  But then I get to work and everyone is more critical - saying I need to work more on my french and commenting where they think I can take french classes (which to be honest I have a better idea of what is available at this point then they do).  I actually think I need to talk classes too - but when I don't have a car and I work a 35 minute bus ride from anywhere (and since it is work provided I have one bus in the morning and one in the evening) it is hard to take classes.  So this leads to a very interesting mix in my opinion in my French.  So is my french good?  or do I "still have problems with French?".

Well maybe someday maybe I will figure it out.

what I do (in laymen's terms)

So Academic Jungle has posted a comment asking for theoretical/computational scientists to post something about their work so that everyone can get a general idea of what we do and why we do it.  I am trying to put it in layman's terms so that when my mom finds out I have a blog she can understand it too.

I study materials using tools that are call "first principle" methods because they are derived from basic physical principles (quantum mechanics).  With these tools we can study many (but by no means all) of the properties of a material that anyone would be interested in.  However, with everything we do there is a trade off between the accuracy of what we are studying and the amount of computing power used so there is constant progress on developing tools that increase the efficiency of  these methods as well as look at new material properties.  What I have been doing at my current post-doc is to use these methods to look interfaces of materials in a manner that hasn't been done for the complexity of system we are interested in (materials used in transistors).  However, as I progress further and further into my field I am becoming more interested in and more active in developing these tools.

So this leads to two things: the first is how I came to be in my field and the second is since I am job hunting for my second post-doc what topics I am looking for.

For the first topic, I have always been interested in computers and quantum mechanics (the theory part).  In fact I was a bit of an odd duck as a graduate student who wanted to be a theory person in an entirely experimental department.  Luckily two things happened at about the same time.  A Mechanical Engineer Prof started moving to the physics department doing theoretical physics and doing "first principle methods" and he happened to have money and was looking for a physics grad student.  So the field sorta found me.  Then my first post doc I was looking for any job in the field either in the same state I was in at the time (where my then Fiancee was) or in Europe.  I only really found a position in France that lucky was doing some really interesting things modeling materials for electronics.

The way I have been looking for post-docs at the moment is using the web-forum for my field that is run by EU funding but that research groups in the US use too.  This gives me lots of options of problems to solve.  Most of the problems I am interested in are a combination of developing code (a program) that fills in gaps in applications and then using the new code to study a problem that has been un-solvable before.  Because there two groups of theorists in my field, those who work on applying existing techniques to novel systems and those who develop new tools to solve usually well known problems.

So that is a brief overview of what I do.  I hope it makes sense, if anyone has questions feel free to ask.

my wifes blog

So everyone should look at my wife's blog.  She has some interesting comments on living in France as well.  She also has PHOTOS of all of our amazing travels around Europe while we have been in France.  I strongly suggest it - she takes great pictures.

why the name?

So why did I decide to call my self the "anonymous mad scientist in a strange land?"  Well to some extant it is pretty obvious, but when I was thinking of the name I would use I can up with some deeper meaning that I liked.  To be honest I have had the name longer then I have seriously thought of making a blog. And the name might actually be part of the reason I finally went out and started one.

So anonymous isn't so much that I am trying to be truly anonymous.  I actually think of it as having a couple of meanings.  The first is a commentary on starting to be a professional scientist.  It sometimes feels that I am unrecognized and anonymous in a the scientific community.  I have friends who are writing book chapters, hosting conference, getting prestigious fellowships and grants, while I only have a handful of papers (that are papers I spent a lot of time on and invested a lot in) with few references and with little attendance at my conference talks.  That being said a lot of the young post-phd scientists I know feel the same way (even though I include some of them in the above list of accomplishments because they are awesome).  Also, I have been feeling better based on the responses I have been getting from my current job search.

And of course the use of anonymous is also an ironic comment on the privacy of the internet.  I am using a google service (a company who is starting to provide "an identity service" to compete with facebook) to communicate with my friends with the whole world watching.  And while I, Bram, am  not trying to hide my identity, the inherent nature of the internet provides a false feeling of anonymity to those of us adding our ideas to it.

"We find these truths to be self evident, that all men are created" slightly mad. The "mad" part is pretty much self-evident (especially to anyone who knows me).  If you aren't a little willing to let your whimsy fly and act crazy once in a while what is the point.

"Scientist" also appears self evident but is more than that.  I am a physicist in much the same way that my parents are christian.  They are the "grunts" that make the church work.  They take part in the services and are ushers, readers, or alter server.  I am not a priest of science - I am a usher or a alter server who works (in the back ground) to make the service work - to tie everything together.  Science has a relative few priests (prof.) and bishops and prophets who proclaim the word of science (Hawking, Green, Einstein, etc.).  The majority of science is populated by those of us who work to make sure science still functions so that all can enjoy the service (our robot overlords will take care of us). 

I am in a strange land.  And I am not just talking about living in a foreign country were everyone eats their body weight in cheese.  I am talking about life in general.  Even when I am not being amazed by the wonders and idiosyncrasies that is France, I am being amazed by the wonders and idiosyncrasies of life in general.  For what is there not to be amazed at in the strange land that is life.  Where else but in life can you see the magic that is children playing, laugh at the humor of www.xkcd.com, marvel at the ingenious design of a record player, challenge yourself with climbing a rock wall or the delicateness of a wildflower?   And the fact that it is always new and exciting if you are willing to seek life out makes it the true strange land.  Of course, it is also a head nod in the direction of Heinlein and all the Sci-Fi genera.

living in France

So when I moved to England 8 years ago (was it really that long ago) the UNM group that organized my exchange told me that I will experience very high highs and very low lows.  And they were right.  I did, but in the end I had a great time made great friends and in general had a great experience.  This time around I thought I was ready because I had lived in England and because I wanted to learn the language.  Wow - how wrong I was.  This time around is much much harder and I go through phases of depression that make it hard to do things.  Between this and the fact that doing anything in french (especially the first time) at least 10x harder it  can be very hard to be motivated to do things.  Of course all this is effected by the fact that I have been married for 3 months and have yet to live with my wife (aside from our ~3 week honey moon and a couple trips to see each other).

However, I am making friends and doing exciting things.  I have a couple groups of friends I like to hangout with. (Actually I need to give a couple of them a call today).  I have been to Paris 3 or 4 times, been to London, and Berlin,  went to a workship in Swisserland,  been climbing in the Alps, canoed down the Ardeche (sp) river, and am returning to Hambourg for the second time next week.  Not to mention that my french is getting better.  When I have the energy (aka not depressed or sick or too lonely  for my wife) I can talk a slow pretty broken French - enough to open up a bank account.  So there are the highs that make up for the lows.

Beth (my wife) and have talked about this acclimation to living in a new place.  Even if it is just across the country it takes time to get comfortable and make friends and adjust.  Of course I do think that living internationally speeds up the process a little bit which is good, but of course does make it a bit more painful.
 So while I think it is a little tough sometimes (mixed in with the good times) I think when I leave I will miss it and will want to stay.  Of course the whole bit about getting comfortable in France will get a lot easier when I finally move in with my lovely, smart, funny, beautiful, caring, prankster of a wife.

So this is just me just downloading some thoughts I have been having  - almost blog like if you will - sorta to clear the attic and so I am not tagging anyone but if you read it i hope you keep that in mind.  - Have a nice day!

(And this is the last (actually it was posted first) post copied from Facebook - it had some good comments too but alas I was too lazy to transfer them)

Caution: I have an advanced degree in physics

My "The Physics of Superheroes" book talking about bloopers . . ."No wonder Prof Palmer, physics professor at Ivy University, if huffing and puffing as struggles with his find - that little rock weighs 50,000 tons! But it turns out that this is, technically, not a blooper. Despite appearances, there is nothings wrong with [this]. And that is because physics professors are Just. That. Strong. Remember this the next time you're tempted to kick sand in someones face at the beach. You never know if that seemingly ninety-eight-pound weakling actually has an advanced degree in physics." - James Kakalios

Let them eat cake

(Okay, I want to say somethings before my real post.  1)  I have had a tough couple weeks and I am sorry if I come across as harsh and overly critical towards the french people.  I love living in France and the French people but I just think I had to get this off my chest.  2)  I am sorry if my point wonders or makes a sharp right angle bend along the way - I was just ranting a bit.  3)  I started off trying to describe the dichotomy of the things I love about France are created by the same things that make living here difficult and it sorta wondered from there.  So in short I hope this makes sense and isn't too critical)

She said "Let them eat cake" (which is actually inaccurately attributed to her) and they cut off her head.  But the mentality that caused Mary Antoinette to be beheaded is still very much a part of french culture today.  I don't want to call it arrogance because that isn't entirely accurate, but the trait of the french that many people call arrogance is a focus on their own culture to the exclusion of the rest of the world outside of their world view.  Of course for Mary Antoinette this didn't end too well for people that existed in the gap between her responsibility and her world view got a little mad. 

However, many of the wonders of the Paris, France, and the World have been created by this world view.  For example, the Louvre, Versailles, and many of the other architectural wonders of Paris were made by the focus of MA's world (I am too lazy to keep typing her name), while French cooking, art, and the sexiness/love/romanticism  of Paris is because the french have in many ways focused exclusively on their interests.  Even the relaxed culture and the concept of having a drink outside at a cafe can be considered to be caused by the the focus of the French on the French.  For how else can you view a country that has a legally mandated work week of 35 hours and gives more then a month in vacation time be considered other than as one focused on relaxing (Of course the quandary becomes how France is then the 4th largest economy in the world, but that is for another rant).

So when people comment on the "arrogance of the French," but worship the amazing and romantic city, or revel in the glory that is french food and wine they must consider that the two are linked.  For the trait that is called arrogance (okay it is arrogance but that is only part of the trait) is also an internal focus that has allowed the French to do amazing thing and be an amazing people.  Of course this mentality is running into problems.

Modern French people to some extent are running into a similar problem as MA.  They want to focus on just France and the french people, but are forced to meet their responsibility as a world power and a member of the EU in a world that becomes smaller on a daily basis.   It is this conflict between the French and the world that leads to "French arrogance".  This problem can be seen on a daily basis when you live in France.

Taking an example that I have recently had many problems with:  Getting my residency card.  Okay the horror that was me getting my "titre sejour" is either inappropriate for Facebook or for another post (I have yet to decide).  But while waiting in line for hours at multiple "Bureau de Etrangers"  it becomes clear that the French aren't interested in anything outside France.  For when the only way for people to get health care, work, etc is to arrive at 4 am in the morning (the Bureau opens at 9) to get a ticket to be seen at some point in day (maybe) something is wrong.  And then when the budget of the Bureau is reduced when the demand only increases (and I am not just talking about the current economic crisis either) it is clear the government isn't particularly interested in the internationals living in France (I am not saying that we should be a huge priority for a government, but still ....).

But you say it is only the government the people can be completely different, I point out that the scientific community of France, which tries its damnedest to not speak English even when in an international context.  Or when French scientists (not just one or two but most) insist on speaking french at meetings with international scientists living in France when they know that they have to write all papers in English, and then wonder why so many of their papers get comments like "English must be fixed for this paper to be considered for publication." (I am not going to go into details of other Counties but most are better then France in this regard).

Now I don't want to dwell too much on my only really two (admittedly big) complaints about living in France for it is doing a grave injustice to many French people I know.  Who in many cases are some of the nicest most caring people I have had a pleasure to interact with period (my boss who speaks principally English to me yet is still encouraging of my use of French and who went through the bureaucratic nightmare that was finding me an office in Paris just because he found out my (now) wife was moving there, and several other friends who have bent over backwards to help Beth and I, the lady at the cash register at lunch who goes out of her way to engage me in conversation (in french but in an easy way to understand to help me out), and many others).

However, these two complaints do show my point of the conflict of France and the outside world.  However, in some ways the exceptions I point out above are proof of the changing world.  A large number of PhD students, Post-docs, and interns, as well as many younger or forward thinking Faculty, are starting to open up and embrace the globalization of science.  Many more younger scientists then even 10 or 15 years ago are seeking to learn/speak/care about English, to get degrees from outside of France, to spend time abroad.

Okay so I am not really sure of the final conclusion of this note but I think it is important to see that many of the problems and complaints that arise from living in France are first of all caused by the same things that I love about living here, and second of all that things are changing, more slowly then I truly wish at the moment but changing none-the-less.  I guess I just hope that in the process that the things I love here don't go away as well.

(This is an old "post" from Facebook that I copied over - I actually had a few comments on it so it is a pitty I am not going to bother to transfer them over)

Learning to Color

Learning a language is like a kid learning to color.  When you first start, you color outside the lines in a mostly unrecognizable mess, but as you progress  you get closer and closer to the lines until one day you aren't completely coloring inside the lines, but the picture still makes sense.  Even this progresses until you are coloring beautiful pictures inside the lines.  Then there is even the possibility of making your own lines and modifying the picture with shading and color choices to be more beautiful.  We call these over-achievers Poets.
Of course, me learning French is a little more like driving a Hummer through a vegetable garden.

(This is an old "post" copied from Facebook)

Adventure

So our landlord just broke the glass barrier between the shower and the toilet.  I was writing my first post (actually editing the tags) and I hear a short stream of french and CRASH!!! and lots of falling glass.  He was hear because since we moved in last week water had been running around the italian shower (fancy word for a 1/2 glass wall) and flooding around the toilet (not our fault it was just set up badly - not properly caulked).  So he was adding the caulking and - bag.  So it was interesting enough to have a conversation about why the bathroom was flooding in french (especially if you don't know the work leak).  Now the evening has gotten even more interesting.  We will see how things go.

Start

Well, hello.  I am sorta new at this so lets see how it goes.  I have posted some sorta posts on the notes on my Facebook account but I figured what the heck- I might as well make a real blog.  Not that I am promising to post regularly.  In fact I promise to post randomly and sporadically.  (However, I will try not to be this guy in whatever form this takes).  Well I might someday post something real  - I am sure you (aka my wife) will be waiting breathlessly.